are you practicing self-love or being selfish?

“You’ve got to love yourself first!”

“You should practice self-love.”

You might have heard something along those lines in podcasts, videos, and read it in books or on Instagram quotes.

But how do you practice self-love and not be selfish?

Sometimes it can be hard to distinguish the two.

With self-love becoming an even more popular topic, I think it’s best to explain the difference.

Definitions Of Self-love & Selfishness

Practicing self-love means to take care of your mental, and physical wellbeing as well as doing things that make you feel happy and fulfilled.

You attend to your needs in a caring and considerate way.

Being selfish means to be completely inconsiderate of others and put your own pleasure and comforts first.

Distinguishing Between Self-love & Selfishness

Self-love is definitely important.

This means that you have a healthy lifestyle such as keeping a consistent morning routine, bedtime routine, you have healthy habits, and eat nourishing food but also don’t compromise this.

You are willing to evolve and grow, you accept yourself as you are including your insecurities and flaws but also take accountability and do what’s best for you.

Practicing self-love also means keeping boundaries, being understanding, empathetic, and caring.

This is because when you become more acceptive of yourself – the whole of you – you start to see people as people and approach them with the same compassion and love.

You become selfish when you step on other people’s toes to get your way, lie or completely disregard other people’s feelings to dominate your own.

Selfish people also have narcissistic traits and can be quite arrogant.

This is to overshadow their own insecurities and perception of themselves.

They take criticism as an attack to their worth and value, so they tend to gaslight and play victim.

They expect to receive without giving, and usually don’t take responsibility.

Some Examples Of Acts Of Self-love & Selfishness

Acts of self-love include indulging in personal growth and genuinely taking care of our own needs, fulfilment and happiness.

They can be big or small acts, but they all mean the same.

Some of these acts include:

Reading books
Taking a bath
Eating salad and fruits
Meditating
Journaling
Drinking water
Being forgiving
Doing something fun
Dancing or exercising
Work on achieving your goals and dreams
Being grateful
Appreciating yourself

Some selfish acts include:

Using others
Never really saying thank you or sorry
Act entitled to everything
Oblivious to other people's feelings
Insincere behaviour
Manipulative

As humans we tend to act in all kinds of ways.

Sometimes consciously, and most times unknowingly.

To recognise your behaviour and language towards yourself and others properly, it would be beneficial to reflect daily.

Have you helped someone else today? What have you done in the past week that shows self-love?

What are your daily habits? How can you improve? Have you been kind to others? Have you listened and acknowledged someone else’s feelings?

Life is a learning journey. It's ok if you’ve been selfish. How you move forward is what matters.

Take care of yourself!

Read, share, comment, and let me know what you think!