I Want To Address The Elephant In The Room
What topic is being brought to our awareness more and more recently but still not a lot of people have a clue about?
*drum roll*
​
Mental health. I bet you didn’t guess that.
​
What Is Mental Health?
​
*Disclaimer: I am not a mental health professional, I have written these blogs to help people with the knowledge and experience I have acquired.*
​
This is a topic that everyone is becoming more aware off recently. But even so, not a lot of people understand it.
I always see mental health related posts on social media such as, “be kind”, “I’m here if anyone wants to talk” and numerous quotes about how society should behave.
​
But shouldn’t we be kind anyway? Why is being kind especially important when it comes to mental health? What is mental health? Why is it such a taboo subject?
​
These are some of the questions that might cross your mind.
​
The best way to introduce this is by saying that everyone has mental health.
The definition of ‘mental’ is: 'anything that is related to the mind.'
Everyone has a mind which means everyone has mental health, just how everyone has physical health. It’s that simple.
​
Unfortunately, there is a stigma around this. I think the term “mental” adds on to the negativity.
Mental can also be used as an adjective so when someone says “mental” we associate it with crazy or mad even if it’s not being used in the context of description.
​
Mental health portrayed in many movies and TV series have conditioned a majority to believe that the treatment for mental illnesses includes a “crazy” person tied up to a chair getting electrocuted or locked up in a room.
Having a mental illness does not mean that you are crazy, demonic or alone!
Why Is It A Taboo Topic?
I honestly don’t know why mental health is still taboo and how it ever developed to be a taboo subject. I believe that the assumptions and further conditioning of those assumptions created a negative belief system.
​
Ignorance is basically the underlying problem.
​
So it only makes sense that we should educate each other to understand what mental health is and why it’s important - leading on to getting rid of the stigma around mental health.
​
To eliminate any stereotypes associated with mental health and introduce a new perception, we could refer to mental health by saying the mind’s well-being or well-being of the mind.
​
I think this is a great first step when initiating a conversation about mental health to those that are not familiar to the concept and have negative beliefs.
​
I also want to emphasise on the language that is used in our conversations.
Personally, I believe that saying “you need help” in most contexts and “he’s/she’s/that’s mental” will bring more negative stereotypes associated with mental health, therapy and being able to openly communicate with each other.
​
“You need help” is a common expression used to indicate that someone should seek support for a problem they are facing. More so for someone that is battling a mental health disorder.
I think the only time saying “you need help” is appropriate is when someone actually says “I need help” themselves.
​
This expression can be interpreted as an undermining and judgemental comment as it implies that you are better and that there is something majorly wrong with the person you are speaking to.
It would also throw people off from seeking resources to improve their mind’s well-being because they have been offended.
​
Instead of saying “you need help” we could practice saying “we should speak to someone about this” or “oh that’s an interesting concept why do you say that?” and “I’m worried and we can find support to overcome this”.
Saying “we” doesn’t create a separation between you and the person you’re speaking to and so it shows that you will be there for support.
​
Bringing awareness in the way we speak will ensure better outcomes.
Why Speaking Up Is Hard
​
Culture & ego
​
Mental health is still very taboo in a lot of cultures all around the world. I believe that people like to belittle mental health illnesses and brush it off which is why some people don’t bother speaking up.
​
It’s also seen as either a weakness or a hopeless case. Sometimes even scary or devastating.
There comes a sense of shame when speaking about a mental health disorder. A lot of people still believe that the one that’s suffering from a mental health disorder has brought it on to themselves.
​
This assumption is so silly that I can't help but laugh at it.
Why would anyone want to suffer? As someone that has an anxiety disorder, I can promise you that I did not wish that on myself and I do not understand how I could’ve possibly brought it on to myself.
I remember the time I came across an incident where a family had cut ties with one of their family members that was suffering from a mental health disorder believing that she had brought it on to herself.
Leaving someone at the time they needed the most support is devastating. I don’t blame them for leaving because they didn’t know any better.
It’s just unfortunate that there hasn’t been a change in our belief system so these incidents keep reoccurring.
​
I believe that with providing education, we will gain a better perspective and destigmatise mental health. But if we don’t try there will be more ongoing negative consequences.
​
The obvious negative consequence is suicide. This is a growing problem for men especially.
There’s pressure that society puts on men to act a certain way. To “man up” is to not show any emotions.
Telling men to repress their feelings because it's not manly to show emotions sounds like the perfect recipe for disaster.
Don’t you think so?
​
Therapy is so looked down upon that people feel ashamed to mention it.
Therapy is a simple process where you communicate your problems to a professional and they give you advice. Obviously, there’s different types like hypnotherapy, cognitive behavioural therapy etc.
​
In my community (South Asian) mental health is hardly ever a topic (and for the most part it’s definitely not an intellectual conversation) therefore, any treatment such as, going to therapy is also taboo.
I have come to find that many young people in my community have to hide their mental health disorder and that they are seeking help.
They are afraid that their parents will not understand and they will be prohibited from going to therapy or that they will cause an insane amount of distress in the family.
​
Going to therapy shouldn’t be a hidden fact and definitely nothing to be ashamed off.
​
Let’s look at different scenarios. If you were struggling financially, you could seek a financial advisor to help you. If you were struggling in a relationship, you could seek a relationship expert. If you were having legal problems, you could seek a lawyer.
​
It’s the same with everything else! I’m not saying that having a financial advisor is therapy. But the common principle is to seek a professional to help you.
​
It's human nature to not admit when we are struggling. But that sense of pride and feeling vulnerable will not help us get anywhere.
I think it’s a good idea to remind ourselves that everyone is carrying some kind of baggage, so we don’t need to feel embarrassed.
​
Many famous, successful people seek mentors or had mentors to help them get to where they are now or want to go.
Examples being, Mark Zuckerberg who was a mentee of Steve Jobs, Bill Gates who was a mentee of Warren Buffet and Richard Branson who was a mentee of Sir Freddie Laker.
​
I believe that everyone should have someone to speak to when they are struggling. Your mental health being the most important.
​
Read part two to learn about mental health disorders and what to do to help yourself.
These links are self-help websites, helplines, mental health charities websites where you can get a lot of information:
​
https://www.menshealthforum.org.uk/key-data-mental-health
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/mental-health-helplines/
https://www.gmmh.nhs.uk/self-help-resources
​
Learn, share and lets begin to end this elephant in the room!
